I apologize

…to my thighs.  Yep, you heard me right.  I am apologizing to my thighs.

I was in the middle of a long run on Friday when I had a bit of an epiphany.  I had driven out to the trails to do my long run and realized AS I WAS PUTTING MY SOCKS ON that I didn’t have insoles in my shoes.  I was so pissed at myself.  I didn’t really have the extra time to spare but I really didn’t want to run my long, solo miles on the road so I drove the 25 minutes home and 25 minutes back to the trails (I was now 1.5 hours into this run and hadn’t even started) and I was in the worst mood.  I knew as soon as my feet hit the dirt that I would get over it though and just embrace being in the woods.

This wasn’t the case though.  I was just being mean to myself.  I was wearing some new shorts that were riding up and every time I would look down, I would think “ugh, my thighs are so big and pasty and white and ugh….” and because of this, I wasn’t having my best run. I was just too focused on something, anything other than just my running.  Typically when I hit the trails, I can literally feel all of my weekly stress fade away but I wasn’t letting it happen.

All of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks that if I expect my body to do all the things I ask of it, I should be a little nicer to it.  I literally stopped dead in my tracks and took a moment to take in my surroundings and re-group mentally.  My “pasty white, big legs” have done a lot for me…numerous half marathons, marathons, and ultra marathon, tri’s, a half ironman….they have logged thousands and thousands of miles on the road, biking and running, and I was being so damn mean to them.  That’s just not fair.  So, I apologized and moved on.

Oh, and I ended up having a gloriously brutal run that I loved every second (thereafter) of and even shared the trails with 7 deer for a bit.  Moral of the story: if I expect a lot of my body, I need to show it a little more gratitude.

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