Why?

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I had one of those moments today during my run…the “why” moment.  I was coming up on mile 10 or so and thought, “why are you doing all of this?  why are you spending so much time running?”  I wasn’t feeling particularly bad but I also wasn’t feeling particularly good.  This is usually when I start to question myself the most.

Fortunately for me, I had many more miles to contemplate the “why”, as I was just settling in for what would be another 26 mile training run (and 21 for Keith!).  My tendinitis is flaring up again and my “no mans land”, as my massage therapist likes to call it, where the quad connects to the ITBand is currently comprised of “tangled scar tissue” which causes pretty awful knee pain.  My feet are feeling like they have nails going in them.  Miles 15-20 were a decent struggle since that part of the trail was filled with a good bit of sand.

On the flip side though, I finally feel like I have my fueling back in order after several weeks of nauseating runs, Keith joined me after about an hour, the sun was out, I was no longer needing 3 layers of clothing, and, best of all, miles 20-26 were my fastest.  All in all, a pretty awesome run.

Not all runs are this “awesome” though.  For instance, we ran Monday and it was awful.  Seven miles felt like 70….or what I can only assume 70 would feel like.  Shit.  We took a tumble where somehow I managed to do a somersault over Keith’s head and landed facing backwards.  After that, pretty much nothing felt right.  That’s what’s so funny about running.  Some days are epic and some days just plain stink.  Plus, this is the first time in many years that I have done all of my running outside of my group so on top of the running group, work, trying to be a good wife to Keith and mom to Georgia, cooking, blah blah blah, we’ve also been logging somewhere between 10 and 12 hours of running a week for the past several months.  It’s been really tough but rather than “finding the time”, we’ve just made the time.

I definitely had moments of struggle today and veered awfully close to “the dark place” a few times but as quickly as I would almost get there, I would get out.  After lots of contemplation on the “why” today, what I finally came up with is WHY NOT?!

One thought on “Why?

  1. Agreed agreed. I have also been suffering from some burn out and I really don’t want to get into the “meat” of Tri-training in a funk. BUT….if you keep at it, there may be another breakthrough just around the corner. Yesterday’s run was not even remotely one I was interested in starting but as soon as we began, I felt great. Free and happy to be running…in the cold…in the rain…for 80 minutes & I had a blast with it. I was also dreading my afternoon swim until I got in the water and told myself to change my attitude and bust my ass. Once again, I truly enjoyed that workout too. I guess the moral is just keep moving forward because you don’t want to miss the wonderful experience that may be hiding around the corner.

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